Quarrels, Fights, Power Struggles, Emotion-wars, Thoughts-attacks, blow things out of proportion. We are all tired of it, but did we do something about it. Sad to say, most of us don't and we settled for "okay-relationship". Okay relationship means when people asked you "how you and your boy/girl". You are more than likely to say things like; "fine i guess", "okay i think"...or even "i don't know where are we heading", with fear and uncertainitis.
i dont settle for "okay relationship" anymore cos they stink and sting. the next person who asked me that question, i can say that it's magnificant, with confidence and glory. (:
the sharing of my changed perspective after reading book by kristine carlson and richard carlson. the book is available at borders by the way.
From Kristine Carlson's book (Dont't Sweat Over Small Things in Love)
1. Mostly, Be Pal
Friends are best communicators, or can be regarded as “world-class listener”, easy to have fun and laugh with. Between good friends, we treat each other with kindness, appreciation and respect. With that aspect in friends, applies the same to relationship. Sad to say, most of us (including me) didn’t see this perspective.
More than often, it is already part of our life to fill our loved ones with jealousy, expectations and demands. A great friendship is somehow the best way to secure a good relationship. Instead of filling jealousy, impossible expectations, demand of changes in your partners’ quirks and habits… treat them like how you treat your best friend.
That worthwhile try, when you do it…it’s likely your loved ones will do the same too. Don’t just let the “non-issue” issues affect you just like that when there’s really nothing in the world that is so wrong to ruin your day yea?
2. Learn to laugh at yourself
Being together, your loved ones will likely to know your quirks and also the anticipated unhealthy responses (if happen). It also means that he know about your imperfections and flaws. The thing about learning to laugh at yourself is to stay lighthearted, laugh together whenever your loved ones teased you about them (flaws).
At those times, they might be less-than perfect and say less than sugarcoated comments, learn to laugh them off instead of getting upset. Then you may create a more nourishing relationship. Don’t make your loved ones feel like they are walking on eggshells. In the very beginning, you might feel like the ultimate but after when they get worn and too cautious around you…this is where they become distant and build a wedge between you and him/her.
*And I don’t need to explain what will happen next yea?
one thing to remind yourself in every unhappy occasions that you DO have a choice; get upset or let it go and move on. i will continue sharing till i see no more couples fighting around me. make peace and love, not war with your loved ones.
i am not telling people to swallow things down and build up resentment, if you get what i mean, you really do. Dont focus on what your partner didnt do, think about what he did. Applies the same the other way, dont think of the things you did for him, think about the things you didnt actually do.
`whew, the end.
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